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A wag once drolly commented: 鈥淲hy worry about old age? It doesn鈥檛 last that long.鈥�

And he was right! During my final days on this earth, I will suffer from the ravages of a very slow-developing leukemia I鈥檝e recently been diagnosed with. And, no, I鈥檓 not really looking forward to it.

But dying is a physical thing. And nature (God doing His thing again!) will mercifully intensify my suffering so that I will embrace death gladly just to end the pain. Nowadays I offer my still-painless suffering to the Holy Trinity as a major part of my daily spiritual offering. (I usually say the 鈥渕orning鈥� offering while trying to fall asleep at night鈥攂ut whatever.)

During the past eight decades I took false pride in my self-pronounced holiness, wallowed in excessive ego-damaging guilt for my sins and practiced damn little true humility. That desirable discipline has grown only in the past few years when I retired to 鈥淕od鈥檚 waiting room鈥� in southwest Florida (God again in his darkly-through-a-glass way!)

From time to time, I imagine daily life in the decades, centuries and even millennia before I was born. Each day, each year, each decade, each century, each millennium billions of human beings very much like me worked, laughed, cried, loved, suffered, admired and hated and then died in far more rigorous, physically appalling, and life-threatening environments.

Did they ever think about their troubled lives? Or ask themselves why they were born? Or ponder where they would go when their earthy life ceased? I suspect they were far too busy struggling to survive the harsh daily routine, the unfair, pitiless, uncaring rulers, unbelievably cruel working conditions and often impossibly demanding family life.

Sadly, centuries from now, billions of human beings will ponder the same questions, despite having instant digital access to major religious teachings. The more things change. . .

During the past nine decades I have plodded my bumbling way over the rambling, twisting path to a minimum level of understanding earthly living and things of the divine. It was a struggle and there鈥檚 so much more I鈥檒l never learn, but I鈥檓 damn glad I tried.

One day in the next few years, (blessedly, I don鈥檛 know when) I will begin an eons-long sleep. And, God willing, when I wake up, the first thing I鈥檒l see will be Jesus standing before me.

I鈥檒l smile and reach out my arms to Him.

And He will smile back and reach out His arms to me.

Bill Bond is a 艾可直播 College alum, A&S English Lit Honors, class of 1952.